Oh What a Day
by urdreamkeeper
Summary: Momma said there'd be days like this... it's been a while gang, life being lived is time being well spent!
1. Default Chapter

Oh what a day

Summary: It has happened to the best of us, for some, it has happened at the worst of times.

Season: Any except six because Jonas isn't here (sniff)

Spoilers: none, nada, niet, zilch, zero, zip......uh, did I mention that there weren't any spoilers?

Rating: PG

Disclaimer: I am pretty sure my dog ate the deed to the SG-1 franchise. He's been barking in Goa'uld for weeks.

Author's note: it has been a while since I have posted a story, and it feels good to be writing again. Feel free to review at your discretion, and thank you for reading!

What a great day it was to be going to work! For the first time in a while, Jack was actually looking forward to his day at the base. He didn't know exactly how to put his finger on it. But something told him that today was simply going to be just a fantastic day. Even if he did have to wear his dress uniform. 

Jack had gotten up early for a change, just to iron. Years of practice had taught him how to produce glass-cutting military creases with half an eye open at five am in the morning. He laid out his brand new black socks, and a fresh pair of navy blue boxers to match his dress pants (with matching glass-cutting creases), and neatly arranged all of the ribbons on the left side of his jacket. He rummaged a minute for his tie, found it, and laid it down next to the other items on his newly made bed.

Since hand-polishing shoes was sooo outdated, Jack had brought out his patent leathers, known to the military and law enforcement as Corafram, and set them at the end of the bed.

Even the shower felt particularly good this morning. The water was extra hot, with a little bit of a nip to it, just enough to turn his skin pink. The steam in the bathroom cleared his senses of any residual sleepiness that might be hiding as he stepped out into the cooler area by the sink. He had a full can of shaving cream, and didn't cut himself once while he was shaving. Jack dressed and combed his hair, and even had time for a cup of coffee before it was time to go. It wasn't every day they had a base-wide dress uniform inspection.

And it wasn't everyday that Jack got to run it.

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What an awful day to be going to work! For the first time in years, Sam was dreading returning to the base. She had only left an hour ago, and she was desperately trying to keep her eyes open as she attempted to put her car key in her front door lock. Realizing at last why the key wouldn't fit, she hurriedly switched keys to the house key, jammed it in the lock, and pushed the door open with an exasperated grunt. As she went in, the shoelace on her left boot that had been untied since 2am, finally got the better of her, and she tripped into the hallway, almost landing face down. Sam put out her hands to stop her fall, and ended up on her knees. She stood up, shut the door, and cursed the Colonel for choosing today of all days for a uniform inspection. Of course staying up at the base until four in the morning hadn't been her intention either. Why couldn't she just leave well enough alone? Why did she have to be so anal about her experiments?

Sam was grateful for her obsessive-compulsive tendencies, as she ran to her closet to pull out her dress uniform, still in the plastic from the cleaners after the last time she had worn it. She threw it on the never- slept-in bed, yanked a pair of pantyhose from her bureau drawer, whipped out the first pair of undies that she could get her hands on from the other drawer, pulled her dress heels from the shoe rack, and stripped off her BDU's for a hyper speed shower. 

The water didn't get hot enough, Sam ran out of shampoo, and it wasn't until she was out of the shower and dried, that she realized she had shaved her right leg, and totally ignored the left. She put on the underwear which were a pretty lacey white favorite of hers. She sat on the edge of the bed to put her nylons on, and when she went to put the first foot in, she heard the familiar sound of the ripping fabric. UggH! She had put her toes right through the end of the nylons. She quickly shed them and ran to the dresser and grabbed her back up pair...well, one of them anyway. She had her nylons on crooked, and her make up on in a hurry, as she finished dressing and put on her heels. The cleaners had done an awful job with the skirt, but there was no time to change it. Sam adjusted the ribbons on the left side of her jacket, grabbed her cover, and dashed back out the door. She had thirty-five minutes to make a fifty five-minute drive, and the gas tank had flashed on empty on her way home. A dress uniform inspection today? AAACCK! There wasn't even time for coffee.

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	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

At five thirty three, Jack pulled up to the first security check point. He hadn't hit a single red light on his way to the base, and the highway traffic was relatively light. Jack suspected that it would be this way every morning if he were ever on time. It was a good thing the missions were intentionally scheduled for SG-1 later on in the day. The guard who was also dressed to the hilt in his blues, stood at attention and saluted. Jack was so tickled, he couldn't help himself; he opened the door, and stepped down out of his truck. Looking behind him to see that there were indeed five or six others waiting to get on the base, Jack decided to just do a quick, simple inspection . He returned the young airman's salute, and proceeded to look him up and down, left to right. Then, just as quickly as he had gotten out, Jack climbed back into the truck, and got out his wallet with his I.D. in it to show to the guard. The guard looked down at Jack's I.D. and started to wave him on through.

"You look outstanding there Airman. Make sure the rest of your team looks the same for the inspection, and then you all can change back into your BDU's. I want everyone to see what a fine group we have at the security check points. Pass the word along would you?"

"Yes sir, Colonel." The guard moved back to let Jack pass, and stepped up to the car behind him.

Jack just smiled broadly as he continued on to the next security station on the parking level of Cheyenne. He inspected both guards at the second station, giving them a quick, but thorough visual examination. The two guards were pleased with the results, as Jack nodded at both of them, and continued to swipe his I.D. card in the badge reader. The outer door opened, and Jack told the guards to stand at ease and get back to work. The airmen complied, grateful for having passed the inspection. This was the first dress uniform inspection they had had since either of them had been transferred here. They didn't know what went on down below Cheyenne mountain, but they knew Colonel O'Neill and his staff, and when O'Neill says to do something, it had better get done. Who knew what type of things grew out of the latrines down there.

Jack walked to the third checkpoint, and continued to go through all of the scanning protocols. After he scanned his badge, his palms, and his retinas, he scanned the five guards that were usually present during high traffic times of the day. Jack was in too good of a mood to really find any fault with anyone's uniform. He was just having an ego trip after watching the whole base scramble over the last couple of days to get their uniforms in order. Jack signed in at the fourth and final checkpoint, and headed down to the SGC. The elevator doors opened on level 27 and Jack looked at his watch. 5:55. 

What a great day! HE was even EARLY today. He wanted a 0700 muster in the gate room for a command inspection. But he had ordered all of the SG-team leaders to arrive an hour early for their inspections, so that they may assist Jack with the command wide inspection. Sam was going to inspect the females (all nine), so he had told her to come early for her inspection as well. He headed out of the elevator to Hammond's office. There was a type of presence in the air, as Jack passed through the control room for a short cut. Everyone was inspection-ready, or so it seemed, as Jack looked at all of his personnel along the way.

He knocked on the General's door, and before he was even told to enter, Jack just walked right in. Hammond wasn't surprised to see him, only he looked at his watch to check the time.

"Good morning Sir!" Jack smiled his greetings as he strode into Hammond's office to look out into the briefing room. "It looks like they're all here eh?" he said as he crossed his arms in front of him and stood watching the SG-team leaders adjust each other's uniforms in the other room.

"Well hi, Jack. Nice of you to get here so early today! Yes, everyone's ready for you I think. I don't think they were expecting you on time mind you, but at least they are all prepared for the inspection. There's just one thing before you inspect your team leaders."

Jack turned around to question Hammond with raised, Teal'c - like eyebrows. "Sir?"

"Stand at attention Colonel, it's time for your inspection." Hammond said without a smile.

Jack stood where he was, completely caught by surprise. Again he repeated. "Sir?"

"COLONEL O'NEILL! AT ATTENTION THIS INSTANT!" The General barked suddenly and loudly, literally scaring Jack straight......into the attention position. Hammond looked past Jack and into the briefing room where he saw the SG team leaders all turn their heads towards the General's office to see what he was yelling about. Even they couldn't miss the little wink that Hammond gave them as he started to inspect Jack. The team leaders all grinned, and most of the tenseness that had been in the air was erased, as they watched O'Neill get raked over. The General pointed to Jack's tie.

"Sorry Jack, I couldn't resist. You look fine. But you know that spot on your tie? I remember how you got that spot, and it has been _ years_. Why don't you just go and buy a new tie? Oh, and at ease." Hammond smiled broadly this time.

Jack cleared his throat. "Thank you sir. Yes....the tie." He looked down, and began to play with it. "I believe it was the hollandaise sauce from our dinner meeting with the joint commission. But that wasn't that long ago was it? That was only......" Jack stopped to try and remember. And Couldn't.

"See what I mean? Get a new tie Colonel. That's an order, and that counts as a hit on your inspection. And have fun with the rest of the personnel. I think everyone is going to particularly sharp today. Let me know if there are any problems, or if there is anything you need."

"Thank you sir, I think it's going to be a good day!" Jack's good mood was only slightly dulled by the General's lesson in humility. Jack looked again out into the briefing room where the team leaders had lined themselves up, prepared for their own inspections.

"Okay, then you're dismissed. I want the inspection reports from your team leaders, signed by you, by the end of today. Barring there are no unforeseen circumstances." 

"Yes sir. Oh. Sir? Have you seen Carter yet this morning?

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	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

At five thirty three, Sam was waiting for the automatic shut off valve on the gas nozzle to kick in and signal that the gas tank on her car was full. God how she hated wearing the skirt! On a chilly Colorado morning, the draft was completely unwelcome. Finally, the nozzle shut off, and Sam returned it to its cradle. She hopped back in the car and started to pull away fast. Then she realized she had forgotten to replace the gas cap, as she heard it hit the pavement behind her. As she slammed on the brakes quickly, she reached down to the seat, and pulled the lever to unlock the fuel door. Sam put the car in park, opened the door with another curse for the Colonel, and jumped out to retrieve her gas cap.

Mission accomplished, gas tank full. Sam pulled out into traffic, cutting some poor guy off as she did so. She came to the light, which had just turned from yellow to red. The woman in front of her was on her cell phone, and apparently had failed to realize that yes, she really could go through a yellow light, and she didn't have to stop for one. Sam almost creamed the woman as she stopped just short of the silver Lexus in front of her.

Sam looked at the clock on her dash. 5:40. How was she ever going to get to Cheyenne, and through security in twenty minutes? The logical part of her mind said she wasn't. But the logical part of her mind was tired from staying up all night with her experiments. And it didn't have a chance against the other part of her mind that said she was going to be in it deep with the Colonel if she wasn't there for one of the first real dress uniform inspections on the base. Even NORAD personnel were being inspected today, although Sam guessed that their inspection requirements might be a bit more strict. They had American and Canadian personnel up there, and had to be inspection-ready most of the time due to the amount of political traffic that was always coming through.

The light turned, and Sam hit the gas. Only to be stopped at the next light a hundred yards down. And another one, a hundred yards after that. After four more lights behind ignorant cell phone chic, Sam couldn't take it anymore. She whipped the car around to the right turn lane, and just as the light turned green, She floored it. Sam glanced over in time to see the woman give her the finger and flip her off, dropping her cell phone as she did so. Sam just chuckled as she pulled off onto the freeway. Why would anyone feel the need to be on a cell phone at almost six in the morning anyway? And for six traffic lights worth of conversation at that! She got as far as the next exit before she hit heavy traffic, going about half of the posted speed.

"Goddamn rush hour traffic! Son of a bitch!" Sam said out loud to the cars passing her at such a slow rate. She NEVER left her house later than five am. 'This is why the Colonel is always late'. She thought just maybe she wouldn't be such a spaz the next time the Colonel was late for a briefing. She glanced down at the clock. 5:49. Just perfect. Sam was still thinking about the woman on her cell phone, when the realization hit her that she had left her own cell phone at the base.

"Damn. I hope they don't try and get a hold of me. I hope I don't need to try and get a hold of them."

Oh well. If she needed to, she could pull off and use a pay phone, but she had to go through so many security channels to get through to who she needed to talk to. With her cell phone, which had encryptions on it, she could just dial right in. The line was still considered an open line, and no important information was ever divulged, but still. It was better than a public phone any day.

Just as traffic began to move freely again, Sam saw her exit. She looked again at the clock. 6:12. She had about fifteen minutes of lonely two-lane road to go before she hit the first security check point. She knew her way by heart, not really having to think about where she was going. So she was totally surprised when she rounded a bend, and a utility truck was working in the middle of the road, with a crew of workers. A flagman, raised his little stop sign, and Sam slowed to a halt. The worker walked up to Sam's car window, as she rolled it down to talk to him.

"How're you doin' ma'am? This route is going to be a little slow for a while, you might want to turn around and find another way through." The gross, unshaven, very overweight construction man was checking Sam out from head to toe as he spoke, trying not to stare too long at her beautiful legs. Sam was in no mood to be dealing with a slob like this today.

"Well, HOW SLOW, and for HOW LONG?" Sam demanded.

"For about two, maybe three more hours. If you try coming back this way around lunchtime, we should be all finished by then." The worker was chewing gum, a big wad of it from what Sam could tell, and the stench of Juicy Fruit, almost made her gag.

"Now wait just a minute. You guys weren't here when I drove home, coming from the other direction less than two hours ago. You mean to tell me that there is something wrong with this road now, that wasn't wrong with it two hours ago? Or yesterday? You couldn't have done this yesterday?" Sam was pissed, and this guy was going to get the brunt of it whether he knew it or not. " And second of all, two or three hours to do what, patch a frigging hole?" Just then, Sam saw another car pull up behind her. She looked closely in her rearview mirror. It was Janet. Of course Janet wasn't supposed to be at the base until seven, like the rest of the base personnel, so it made sense to Sam to see her pulling up behind her at this time of the morning.

"Well Ma'am. Yesterday was Sunday, and we just got here about ten minutes ago to start work today. Sorry for the trouble. We'll be done in a bit." The guy started to walk away, but after the previous couple of hours, Sam wasn't putting up with any more crap. She opened the car door, and got out. She looked behind her to acknowledge Janet, who just put up her hands and shrugged, but stayed in her car.

Sam approached the men who were working on a hole that Sam could have filled up with spare soil samples that she had sitting around her lab.

"Now you gentlemen listen to me." Sam said in a low growl just loud enough so that everyone could hear. From behind, Janet too rolled down her window so that she could hear what was going on. 

"My name is Major Carter, United States Air force. There is a _very_ big event going on today at the military facility down the road. And since you are not Government employees, you do not need to be here. Now, I have had the morning from hell. I fell asleep on my lab reports this morning, drove home on an empty stomach, and an empty gas tank, fell through my front door when I tripped over my boots, the shower was cold, I ripped a pair of pantyhose, I forgot to shave one leg, I got behind a cell phone Nazi and I was stuck in traffic on the freeway. Not to mention the fact that you guys are here filling in a hole that I could dig with a sand shovel, and I haven't had my coffee yet!!! So if you do not move this equipment out of the way enough to let at least one lane of traffic pass, then I will call the base, and you all will be detained for trespassing on and damage to government property." Sam gasped as she ran out of breath.

Another worker, whom Sam guessed was in charge, strode quickly over to Sam.

"That's not necessary ma'am. We can move the equipment to let you ladies by. And a whole lane of traffic. The job might take us a little longer, but I am sure the boys wouldn't mind a little bit of overtime today. We'll get it out of the way right now for you. We just don't want any trouble with that military base. We know all about the secret experiments those guys do down there, and a lot of people go in, but not a whole lot come back out. We just don't want no reason to have to go IN in the first place. C'MON FELLAS! LET'S GIT THIS STUFF OFF TO THE SIDE, AND START ANOTHER FLAGGER FOR THE OTHER SIDE OF THE ROAD SO WE CAN DIRECT THE OTHER CARS!!!!!" Will that be all ma'am?" The worker was just as scraggly as the other had been, only he was the polar opposite physically. Short, skinny, and whiny.

Sam walked back to her car and gave Janet, and now a third car that she recognized going to the base, both a thumbs up, and climbed back inside. She looked at the clock on the dash. 6:43. Had it really been a half an hour since she exited the freeway? She started to sweat just a little under her arms, and behind her knees. The command inspection was scheduled to start in seventeen minutes. And she hadn't even gotten through security yet.

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	4. chapter four

Chapter four

Jack looked down at his watch. It was 6:12. He was finishing his inspection of all the SG team leaders. All of them except for one. Well technically, Sam wasn't an SG team leader, but he had asked her to come early for her inspection because she was in charge of the female inspections. He was getting distracted because she wasn't there yet. It wasn't like her to be late for _anything_.

"Damn you guys are good. I can't find a single thing wrong with any of you!! How in the hell did that happen? Not a shoelace wrong, not a single crooked tie, or misplaced ribbon! Nobody was even dumb enough to wear white socks! What the hell? Well... I just hope the rest of your teams are as outstanding as you guys.' Jack just stopped in disbelief. From behind him, Hammond was observing from the window in his office. Little did Jack know, Hammond had already inspected the team leaders, and told them what to fix before the Colonel's inspection. He seemed to be in an ornery mood today and he liked seeing his 2IC squirm. And besides it wasn't fair to let the Colonel have all of the fun.

"Uh.. okay. At ease. You have until 06:50 to get your teams together, and lined up in the gate room. The inspection will start at 0700, and I mean AT 0700. Understood?" Jack glanced back down at his watch.

A chorus of yes sir's rang out through the briefing room.

"Okay then you're dismissed. See you in a while." Jack's mood was starting to shift slightly. The good mood was still there, but worry was starting to edge its way into his mind. But being the ever poised and stoic military officer that he was, he couldn't let a little thing like his second in command being late for one of the most important inspections ever, get in the way of his professional thinking. Too bad he had given Teal'c and Daniel the day off, he was wishing they were at least here so that he could pace in front of them or something. He watched as all of his team leaders headed out of the briefing room. Then he turned back towards Hammond's office.

As he marched back in, the General was already on the phone to the surface. He hung up the phone and looked up at the Colonel.

"Jack I know that look on your face, and I have already tried calling Major Carter's house, and her cell phone. No answer at either one. I just talked to the security posts, and apparently Major Carter left the base at 0430 this morning, but has not checked back in yet. My guess is that she was here all night working, and had to go home to get her things for the inspection. And if the traffic that I drove through to get here this morning was any indication, I am not surprised she's running a little bit behind. Cut her some slack, Colonel, she's been putting in sixteen or seventeen hour days lately. Sometimes I think you might be a little harder on her than even you realize. Don't worry. She knows what a big deal this is today. She'll be here." Hammond was more worried that the Major had driven home with so little sleep and had had to come back to the base so quickly.

"I know she'll be here sir, and I know you're right. But remember the last time she didn't show up on time? She was kidnapped, and there wasn't a damn thing I...any of us could do about it. That was pretty traumatic for her, and I just don't want anything like that to happen to her again, you know? That's all I was worried about. I think I'll go grab some chow before the inspection starts."

"Jack. Relax. I don't think she was kidnapped within the last hour and a half. It takes any one of us at least twenty minutes to get here, and for most, it takes quite a bit longer. And how many times have you been late for something that Major Carter deems important? Just think about it will you? And for God's sake, knock before you come in next time. So go on and get some breakfast. I'll keep checking to see if she gets here. Dismissed."

The Colonel turned to go, and slowly turned back.

"What if she doesn't get here sir?"

Hammond looked up at Jack with a small, brief smile. "Well, then right after the inspection, we will start looking for her. But not until she misses the inspection. Then we'll know something is truly wrong. But it's six twenty five. You're going to miss breakfast if you don't hurry. She's still got thirty-five...make that forty minutes until she's _officially_ late. Thirty-five puts her right on time. Now go on. I'll see you downstairs in a little bit."

With that said, Jack headed upstairs to the commissary for some chow. When he got there, it was completely empty. The lights were off, and there was a sign on the door. 

It read 'Breakfast will be served following command inspection. Please see today's menu for breakfast choices.'

"Damn it." Now Jack really didn't know what to do with himself. He went to his office, which he NEVER used, and sat down behind the desk. It was void of anything except his telephone. He looked again at his watch. 06:43. He picked up the telephone, and dialed Daniel's number. Five rings before Daniel answered.

"Hel...(yaaawwwn) lo?"

"Daniel it's Jack. Listen...have you heard from.." He was cut off.

"Jack..I distinctly remember you giving Teal'c and I the day off today. Why the hell are you calling at almost seven in the morning? If you tell me we have to go on a mission, I am hanging up. This is the first day off I've had in forever. Not to mention the fact that I _was_ sleeping in. Now what do you want?"

"Well the inspection is supposed to start in about fifteen mi..." He was cut off again.

"I am not dressing up to come in there so that you can pester me just because you're in your blues. And besides...Teal'c and I were going to hit the slopes today. I think he's in there trying to figure out that PlayStation 2 that you got me for Christmas. Seeing as it has been in the box since then. At least it will get some use. Will you please tell me why you called or did you just wake me up to be mean.?"

"Daniel, I was trying to say that..." And yet again, he was interrupted by Daniel.

"Jack, I haven't had my coffee yet, can this wait?"

"Daniel, would you shut up and listen? Stop interrupting me. Carter hasn't checked in yet. She left here at four thirty, after staying all night, and now she's not here yet, and the inspection is supposed to start in about ten minutes. I was calling to see if you had heard from her."

"Jack she probably just hit traffic. She was freaking out about this inspection all week, so I doubt that she'd miss it. And if she just left the base two and a half-hours ago, she should be back anytime. I doubt that anything has happened to her in just such a short amount of time. She probably stayed late last night to finish the experiment that she was working on about astro............" 

Click. Jack hung up the telephone with Daniel still running his mouth at the other end. He checked his watch. 06:49. He got up from his chair to head down to the Gate room for the inspection. He walked out of his office to the elevators. The doors opened, and the car was empty. Jack thought for sure that at least someone would be there to keep him company on the way down.

When Jack walked through the gate room doors he was surprised to see what he thought were all 204 SGC personnel lined up in tight rows across the back of the gate room, and to either side of the ramp. He corrected himself as he looked around. He didn't see Carter. In fact, he didn't see Frasier either. 201. Not including himself. Now he knew something was going on if both Sam and Janet were late. If Carter was hurt, he knew Frasier would call the base to let them know. He was determined to continue the inspection on time regardless.

As he walked to the front of the crowd, and stood at the base of the ramp, he looked at how well everyone seemed to be prepared. He stood at the base of the ramp and looked out over everybody. He checked his watch. 0700 exactly.

"SG personnel! ATTEN...HUT!" The crowd snapped to attention, and Jack proceeded to call his section leaders to the front of the ranks. He gave the Team leaders their instructions for the inspections, and sent them on their way. He just watched from his position on the ramp, and looked up a few minutes later as Hammond came through the doors, and walked up to stand beside him on the ramp.

Hammond leaned over to whisper to Jack.

"Okay Colonel. After the inspection we'll start an investigation. But don't worry too much until there is something to worry about."

"Frasier's not here either sir. Do you think something happened to Carter and she had to get in touch with Frasier?"

"I don't know. But we'll find out. I am going back upstairs to make some phone calls and do some snooping. Let me know how the inspection goes." With that, the General walked back out of the gate room, and back up to his office.

Jack looked again at his watch. 0713. Why wasn't Carter here yet?

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	5. chapter five

Chapter five

As the construction crew let Sam, Janet, and the other car heading to the base through the roadblock, Sam glanced down at her dash clock again. 06:49. Sam was beyond panic. She had never been late for anything this important. But as much as she just wanted to scream at someone, she couldn't bring herself to do anything but watch the clock, and the rearview mirror. Janet was back there, and it felt even worse for Sam because Janet was going to be late too. Not to mention the last car behind Janet. At least the construction crew had done their best to move quickly; Sam did have to give them that.

They were about a half of a mile from the first security checkpoint, when Sam felt a huge BANG! Followed by a schlopp, schlopp, schlopp, and then a wump! The passenger front tire had just blown out. Sam swerved off to the right shoulder. Janet, and the car behind her swerved off too. Sam got out of her car in a hurry. So did Janet. So did the airman that was behind her.

"Shit." Sam cursed as she walked around the front of the car to stare at her tire.

"Sam it's okay, we'll get it fixed. Do you have a spare?" Janet said as she leaned in Sam's car to find the trunk release lever.

"Where's your trunk release?" Janet couldn't seem to find it.

"Here, you got to use the keys. The release is under the seat, but it' s broken." Sam handed her the keys. And looked up as the airman approached. She too, was dressed in her blues. But she had chosen to wear the dress blue slacks instead of the skirt. Sam wished that she had followed the young airman's example as another breeze found its way up her backside.

"Ma'am do you and Dr. Frasier need help? I know the inspection is supposed to start soon, but I can stay if you need me too. There's nothing wrong with being late if I were to be late helping you. Besides there are only six other females beside myself and you two that need to get inspected, so maybe they will wait until we get there?" The slight, young, female airman was about Janet's height, but just slightly smaller. She had always been intimidated by Major Carter, and had always gone out of her way to go out of Major Carter's way. But she was still fascinated by the major, and hoped one day, she could go to college and be an officer just like her.

"Thank you Sergeant Vaughn. But there is no sense in you being late as well. I sincerely appreciate the gesture, but it's already..." Sam looked at her watch. "07:00. The inspection is starting already. You work for the engineering and maintenance department is that correct? Under Sergeant Siler?" Sam asked.

"Yes Ma'am. And frankly, he's gonna have my hide when he finds out that I am late. But if I were to come in with you, he wouldn't say anything." The young Sergeant didn't meet Sam's eyes. She knew that she was never supposed to look directly at a superior officer, so she didn't.

"Relax Sergeant. You go ahead on to the base, and when you get inside, tell Sergeant Siler you WERE helping Major Carter and Dr. Frasier, and that we are also going to be a few minutes late. You can help us by delivering the message. And also, tell Siler to deliver it to Colonel O'Neill as well. I'll talk to Siler later, and back up your story so that you won't be in any trouble. Thank you for stopping to see if we were okay. Now hurry, before I change my mind, and Janet and I kidnap you for a girl's UA day on the town."

The sergeant smiled up at Sam. Major Carter was pretty cool. She had even remembered her name. Sergeant Vaughn got back into her car and drove towards the base. She waved at the two female officers as she drove by.

"Well that was nice of you Sam. You know, I don't think I have ever seen her talk anymore than two words at a time before. She's come into the infirmary for various reasons, but she always answers my questions with as few words as possible, and gets out of there as fast as she can. But working with Siler, she's bound to get more injuries than the rest of the base, so I suspect I'll be seeing her quite often. Okay, let's get this spare on."

Sam's adrenaline was starting to wane, and she took off her dress jacket to get the spare out of the trunk.

Janet took her jacket off as well, and the girls got the spare out of the trunk. Sam got the lug wrench out and went back to the front side of the car, as Janet went back to look for the jack. The realization that she was officially, undeniably late for one of the biggest command inspections of her career, hit her, and Sam could do nothing but shake her head and get to work on the first lug nut. The Colonel was not going to be happy to say the least.

"Um...Sam? Where's the jack? You _do_ have a jack don't you? Because I know for a fact that mine is broken and I have been putting off getting a new one. Where's your jack?" Now it was Janet's turn to look at her watch. 07:12. No doubt the inspection was almost over.

Sam was in disbelief. She didn't know what to say. Could anything else possibly not go right today? It was only seven in the morning, she thought that there were still a lot of hours left for everything to not go right. This was going to be a long day.

"Sam? The jack? Where is it?" Janet asked again.

"Inside the base probably wetting his pants because I'm not there for this inspection." Sam quipped as she looked up at Janet from her spot on the ground by the front tire.

Then both girls just cracked up laughing. There was nothing else they could do. Sam was pretty proud of her little joke, that, and she desperately needed some coffee. The girls just laughed and laughed, until somebody snorted. Then they laughed some more. When they settled down, Sam spoke up.

"Janet, I think that the jack that you were referring to is back home in my basement. When I rotated the tires the last time, I didn't put it back in the trunk. I just put it back with the rest of my tools when I cleaned everything up. I have just been so busy, that I hadn't had the chance to get it back in the trunk. Can you at least give me a ride on base? I'll come back out here later, and get Siler to help me fix it."

"You bet Sam. Get your jacket. Maybe you can hide the dirt smudges on your skirt with it. And at least you won't have to worry about the inspection. C'mon." Janet shut the trunk lid after Sam put the lug wrench in. Sam grabbed her dress Jacket, jumped in Janet's car.

"Jan you need to clean this thing out. Seriously, there might be something crawling around in here that you might not even know about."

"Well, I know my glove box isn't alphabetized, but is it that bad really?" Janet smiled as she pulled away.

Sam just shook her head and laughed.

"No, I guess it isn't as bad as say..Daniel's car. Trust me you don't ever want to go in there. What goes in isn't guaranteed to come back out."

Janet laughed too, as she pulled up to the first security station. The airman was dressed in his blues.

"Wow. When he said command wide, he wasn't kidding. I think NORAD had theirs today too. He's a cutie."

"Hello Ma'am. Hello Ma'am. Can I see your identification please?" The young soldier inquired.

Janet showed the airman her ID, and Sam showed him hers. He wrote their names in the log, and let them pass. The girls continued on through the remaining checkpoints. When they got to the security station where they had to scan their badges and palms, Sam stopped short.

"Jan you're not going to believe this. I forgot my security badge. I have my ID because that's in my wallet with my license. But my security badge is in the pocket of my BDU's." She turned to one of the guards.

"Listen airman, please call downstairs and get me clearance to go through. I have been through these security checks hundreds of times, my palms and retinas both match, I just don't have my security badge. Don't you guys have temporary ones?"

"No can do Ma'am. I know that you are Major Carter. And the computer thinks that you're Major Carter. But with out the appropriate security badge, I cannot allow you to pass. I'm sorry ma'am, but that's protocol for anyone. And no, we don't have temporary badges for top secret security clearance. For the lower security levels we do, but not for yours. You're going to have to get your badge."

"I know what the protocol is damn it, and I know why it's in place." Sam just looked at Janet with a pitiful

'help me' look.

"Yes, I will take you home to get your badge Sam, but you owe me. Hey we can get your jack while we're there." She turned to the airman.

"Thank you. If you should get a call from someone looking for us, tell them we had something come up, and that we will return when we get it taken care of. Understood?"

"Yes Ma'am. Will do." 

The two women headed back out to Janet's car, only to have to back track through security. As they drove past Sam's car, on the way out to the main road, Sam looked at her watch for what was probably the hundredth time that morning. 07:48. She looked out the window and up at the sky. It looked like a storm was coming. Perfect. 


	6. chapter six

Chapter six

Jack looked up at the hands of the clock in the control room. The clock read 4:35. Jack blinked, and looked again. 4:35. The hands didn't move.

"Damn it. Who forgot to change the batteries in the clock?" Jack said through his teeth. He got one of the stools to climb up and reach the dusty reminder that no one had been up there in a very long time. Everyone just looked at him, as he climbed down, blew the dust off of the clock, and made a complete mess all over the front consoles.

"Colonel, we haven't used that clock in about four years, sir. There's uh... a digital one right here in the front control panel." Davis pointed to the desk in front of him. "It's only been four minutes since the last time that you checked sir."

"Easy Davis. I know what time it is. And I know what time I looked at my watch last and in fact it has been ..." he checked his watch. "...Four...five....six. SIX minutes, since the last time I checked, thank you very much." Jack walked the wall clock over to the Sergeant. "Here Davis. Unglue your butt from that seat for a little bit, and go find some batteries for this clock. That's an order." Jack started to walk back up to General Hammond's office.

"Um... sir? Do I have to actually get up to find the batteries?"

The Colonel turned a slightly amused, but curious look at the Sergeant. "Why ? Don't you want to get up for a break?"

"It's not that sir. I have batteries right here beside the desk." Sure enough, Davis opened a drawer under, and to the side of his console. Jack bent over to take a peek.

"Wow. And I thought Carter was bad. What else do you have in there? Hey, can I have one of those Twinkies?"

"Here sir. So I don't have to get up for the batteries?" He motioned for the Colonel to bend down, so that he could whisper to him. Jack did as motioned. "It's not that I don't want to get up sir. It's just that I have gotten this chair so that it's just perfect, and when I get up, everyone else comes and sits on it, and raises it up, and twists it around. I come in ten minutes early every day just so that I can adjust it perfectly. I have even trained my bladder so that I can sit here for almost five and a half hours straight. I give one of the other control sergeants a key to this desk drawer so that he can get whatever he wants, when he watches my chair for me during my lunch/bathroom break." Jack stood up, took the outstretched Twinkie without another word, but a raised eyebrow instead. He couldn't wait to tell Teal'c. Of course he now owed Daniel another ten bucks.

He and Daniel had bet on whether or not Davis actually did get up to use the bathroom. Jack lost. He should remember not to bet Daniel about anything. Jack just shook his head and turned to walk away. As he did, he glanced back when he heard Davis tell the airman beside him to hang the clock back on the wall. The airman did as ordered.

"Unbelievable." Jack whispered to himself as he headed up the stairs. Just as he was about to knock on the General's door, it opened, and out walked Hammond. Jack didn't react fast enough, and the two men collided with a small grunt from them both.

"Hey General, how are...things?" Jack managed, as he took a few steps backwards.

"Jack, we just talked a half an hour ago. The situation has not changed in the thirty minutes since we talked last. We do however have another problem. While you were upstairs getting chow, the Tok'ra relayed a message to us."

"What kind of message sir?"

"The 'We need your help' kind of message. They have two spies inside one of Baal's smaller armies on

P4Y-009. Or should I say...had...two spies. We don't know much else, but apparently we've become quite the popular topic of discussion among the Goa'uld. One spy was captured by Baal and tortured. Baal was asking questions about Earth. You in particular Colonel. The Tok'ra are sending Jacob to brief us further about a rescue mission. They believe the spy is still alive, as the other one did manage to escape in a cargo ship and get back to the Tok'ra base."

"Aww General. Why do we have to bail their smarmy butts out of another jam? Especially without Carter and Daniel and Teal'c here?"

"Call them in Colonel. It's only 08:40. I'm sure that Dr. Jackson is still trying to catch up on his sleep from the last time that you called him."

Jack looked at Hammond with amazement. "With all due respect sir, how do you know I called him at all?"

"Jack, I may have been born at night, but it wasn't last night. I know you Colonel; I know how you operate. I also know that when one member of your team is in trouble, especially one in particular, you panic. Maybe it's not open, shown all over your face panic, but it's there. You pace, you eat, you pester the other members of your team, you pester me, and you play with everything."

"..But sir, I don't pl.." Jack couldn't stammer out the rest of what he was going to say. He knew the General was right. It still didn't make him feel any better.

"Yes, I have had to sign the repair cost requests from Major carter after you have been to her lab on one of your 'worry sprees'. You DO play with everything. And as far as the Tok'ra are concerned, We help them this time, and they'll help us next time. And all I can say about Major Carter is that she will probably be here soon. We just have to tell Jacob that she had to leave the base for a while, but that she should return shortly. Go call Dr. Jackson and Teal'c, and tell them I owe them another day off, but they are going to have to take a rain check for today. Oh and you might want to change, the inspection's over now."

The General walked past Jack and down the steps to the control room. Jack made his way back to his office. He sat down behind his very bare desk, and picked up the phone to call Daniel and Teal'c. What everyone on the base failed to realize, was that despite vicious rumors of an incredibly crowded, messy, overflowing pile of work on his desk, it was actually very clean. It was his in-box that was overflowing and messy. In fact, it was an in-crate on the floor behind his desk. His out box was as empty as his desk. As the phone was ringing, he looked down at his tie. Which now had, in addition to the hollandaise spot, a whole lot of dust from climbing up on the cabinet to get down the clock. It wasn't just his tie though; it was the whole front of his uniform. He had been too distracted by Hammond's psychic powers to notice.

After three rings, Daniel picked up the phone. He was much more awake then the last time Jack had called.

"Hello?"

"Daniel, it's me. General Hammond told me to..."

"Jack if you tell me we have to come in there for something, I am not going to be happy. We just started playing this really cool racing game. Teal'c got the play station working, and I made breakfast and everything. Jack? I'm not going to be happy am I?"

"Hammond said to tell you that he owes you another day off, but that he needs you and Teal'c to come in to the base right away."

"Did he say what for?" Daniel knew better than to ask any questions regarding work, from his house, as his phone line may be monitored, but he always did it anyway.

"Yes, he did."

"Did What?"

"Say what for."

"Well?"

"Well what?"

"Jesus Jack why does Hammond need us to come in there today!?"

"You don't have to yell."

"I couldn't help it."

"I know."

"Jaaaack."

"All I can say is that Jacob is coming to town for a very important meeting with the General."

"Did you ever find Sam?"

"Not yet."

"Well what's Jacob going to say when he gets here, and there's no Sam?"

"See that's exactly what I said. Hammond thinks she'll turn up pretty soon."

"Yeah, me too. Okay, Teal'c and I are on our way. I knew we should have gone to Vegas or something for the day. It's only a four hour drive or so from here, we could have made it by .."

"Daniel?"

"Yes Jack?"

"See you when you get here, I am hanging up now."

"Bye Jack."

"Yup, bye."

The Colonel got up from his desk and headed to the locker room to change his clothes. He was feeling a little better because at least he would have Daniel and Teal'c here to worry about Carter with him. He was feeling better until he looked at his watch and realized that another twenty-five minutes had passed. 09:05. He didn't know what time Jacob was expected, but Jack hoped that he would get delayed long enough for Carter to get here.


End file.
